Fear Based? Or Love Based?

When Leann and I first started dating in high school it wasn’t long before we wanted to spend more and more time together, but she had friends she did things with and I had mine that I still hung out with and so our relationship was limited to the occasional date and seeing each other at school.  However, it wasn’t long until we got more serious and exclusivity set in. Instead of doing stuff on the weekend with my buddies I started wanting to be at her house as much as I could. And during the week at school we walked together and sat together. Kept the phone at home tied up for hours (much to the irritation of our parents).

I admit it was probably teenage hormones but the budding romance made us want to spend time together, and do nice things to show our interest. No one had to make us call the other; our parents didn’t have to suggest we buy a gift for a special occasion; our friends didn’t have to remind us to sit and talk or walk together. It was happening naturally. In a word it was a kind of passion, and longing, and eventually love that motivated the behavior, and does to this day. An intensity to spend time together to the exclusion of others and be faithful that can only be satisfied by the presence and affection of the other.

Throughout scripture there are similar ideas, not for the relationship between a man and woman but between us and God (some interpret the Song of Solomon to be read this way). But some examples:

Psalms 63:1  A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah. O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Psalms 42:1-2  As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?

Acts 17:28  for “‘In him we live and move and have our being’

The Bible is full of ideas like these written by people who had a passion for the presence of God; longing for him that’s not unlike the relationship between a man and woman. Thirsting, fainting, for God. You might recall the intense emotions of your early dating life.

That caused me to ask myself:

·      Am I following God out of that kind of desire and passion? Or do I follow him out of fear?

·      Am I obedient and serve others out of gratitude for his love and grace and salvation? Or because I fear the consequences if I don’t?

·      Do I long to be with Jesus in eternity? Or do I just fear hell?

Let me say – The Bible affirms the fear of God in the sense of awe and wonder, and duty of the faith  can keep one safe in the faith until we get more understanding about how God works. I’m not saying one’s faith is false if you came to Jesus because you’re terrified of eternity in hell. If that’s the only thing standing between you and a terrible, life-altering decision then praise God for fear.

But, a fear-based faith in an incomplete, distorted view of God; it’s draining;  and fearful obedience is not sustainable. Ultimately, it will become drudgery, routine, lifeless, joyless. We’ll see his commands as impositions meant to drain the fun out of life. Any sacrifice of time and treasure become bargaining tools rather than genuine demonstrations of my devotion born out of his sacrifice for me.

But just like in a healthy romantic relationship, love-based faith is energizing, life-giving, quenching the spiritual thirst in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “Blessed” that is made full, happy, privileged, literally “under the approving favor of God.” So, under the approving favor of Yahweh are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied – have the longing in their souls quenched.

How can we transition from a fear-based faith to a love-based relationship that generates passion and obedient living and joy? Where life in Christ isn’t a drudgery, a routine? Where sacrifice becomes instinctive? Some ideas:

·      Learn and live out what the Lord has said is true of those who are in Christ. The Bible says that in Christ you are justified, reconciled (no animosity between you and God); your sins have been totally atoned for; you are regenerated; forgiven, accepted, valued. Already – not something you have to work to earn. These are yours in Christ.

·      Become aware of the Holy Spirit living inside. In our own power we can only go so far. But God’s spirit, living in us, empowers us to joyful sacrifice and obedient living. We don’t have to white knuckle our way to eternity.

·      Be intentional about noticing the blessings you already have. Most of the time we’re only aware of the things that go wrong or the things we don’t have. For the loyal citizen of heaven, King Jesus has provided abundant living tailor-made to our situation.

·      Ask for him to awaken a passion for him. That's right. Just ask. It's a prayer that's right in line with his will, so you can expect a positive answer.

Practical activity: turn off the TV for awhile. Get  a pen and paper and start writing down the obvious blessings the Lord’s given you. Be specific. Keep that paper where you can notice it and add things as the Holy Spirit brings them to mind. At bedtime, read over the list, and ask that he begin changing your heart from fear to love.